Us

Here we are

Me and you

Throwing words

Spilling tears

Breaking hearts

Back and forth

On and on

Mounting rage

Forgotten vows

in chaos 

Then a giggle

A baby sigh

From the crib

Quelling rage

Melting doubts

Crushing ego

Here we are

You and me

Throwing hugs

Spilling love

Breaking walls

now reminded

We are in this together

With our little one

Acid Burn

I want to know

Your thoughts that day,

When you picked up that vial

From the chemistry lab

Turned right around and flung it on my face

What were you thinking,

When you saw the liquid blind my eyes then

Slowly drip down my cheeks

Down my neck and through my shirt

Burning its way through.

What did you think

When you saw burning trails of flesh where once

Were cheeks which could blush

Cheeks which turned away your advances

What made you think you could,

With this burning liquid

Alter my face

Mess it so bad

That I now have this grotesque mask

Of burnt flesh, melting, parting and meeting at different spots

Blotches- black, brown, blue, grey-

Of pain numbing my insides

What do you think now

That you see me in this bed

Writhing in pain, wishing to die

Tell me. I want to know.

A Trial

As the waves of time recede from my shore

I see the sands of youth trickling through my fingers

Beauty which once beheld many a men

Now snatched by the tides and carried to a young soul

At the verge of womanhood

Filling her body, brightening her face

I see the colour fading from my cheeks

Leaving an ashen grey

My hands, once fine

Now a knobby disgrace

I feel salty drops on my face

My daughter crying over me

I wish to call out

Hold her in my arms and stroke her hair

Comfort her,

One last time

but sound eludes me and my body rebels

I can’t move, something has me bound

This spirited body now a wasted space

Bound to a bed

The tubes hurt me and the beeps keep time

Time, Which seems to stretch forever

And ever

Stops

When death befriends me

Now six feet under

Sounds of stifled sobs reach me

A last cry before they turn their backs on

Years of affection

Shared memories, hugs and kisses

Now buried with me

With me alone

In this dampness

My senses now escalate

I see clarity in this darkness

And hear truth in the silence

I smell the raw earthy smell of peace,

The earth, in whose ears I whispered

The glory of God

Through long days and fading nights,

Now has me locked in her embrace

Which gets tighter

and tighter

And then she lets go

A light now overpowers the darkness

And everything else

Illuminating my soul

Lightening my heart

And letting me know that

Now, there’s no fear.

Why I write

Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night

Grasping on to the tail of an escaping idea

I make it my pet and stroke it till dawn

It grows by the minute and demands to be fed

When I refuse it goes wild

Clattering around making a mess of my mind

It grows so fast that I cannot contain

It begs to be released and I relent

I give it a shower and brush its mane

Some nips here and there

And when it’s clean and appealing to the eye

I sigh and I let it go. 

Moonlight

Gossiping crickets spread rumours with glee,

Rustling leaves with nervous whispers on their lips

The tired song of a sleepless bird

Guarding her young, lulling them to sleep

Twisted twigs break like crackles of a kindled fire

An end to dry misery

Dry leaves scattered like dirty laundry

Waiting to merge with the fertile soil and start anew.

Dew drops forming on a bud

Losing balance, rolling down and joining the rest

The rush of an eager stream, blinded by haste

to escape the source and seek a name 

Hurling itself , energy unbound,
crashing on boulders, sleepless over stony beds

Changing colours, making choices

Escaping a dull past now pregnant with expectant hopes

Of nurturing far lands and moistening dry mouths

Curving marks on foreign maps

Carving trails for the traveller’s ease

Giving respite to the seeker’s soul.

The moon, now full, looking on with glowing pride

Cruising the skies, companion to the wandering soul

A silvery light touching dark corners

Beautifying, eliciting emotions contained

Leaving young lovers with sweet words

flowing from the heart, waiting to be told.

Then as the night fades and threads of dawn appear

with a sad glow it bids good bye

Parting with promises of another beautiful night.

http://www.layoutsparks.com/pictures/beautiful-moon-0

Beautiful Bodies

Shopping with girlfriends or at the hairdressers',

Flipping through magazines as I get my hair done

Page after page of glossy perfection

Sensuous curves and caramel skin so soft,

Image after image

Mocking me, calling me names

One places me in the ‘before’ selling distant dreams of a beautiful ‘after’

Dreams contained in big bottles and labelled lotions, 

My skin needs lightening, body some tightening or,

they reveal, I face a future so bleak-

Men’s rejection, collapsing careers and eventual dejection

I can’t look at the mirror no more

That image is not me

It’s an ugly monster I’ve created

Done with this Frankenstein

Time to change

Throw out all Chips and chocolates,

The cheese in my spaghetti, sugar in my tea

Push out carbs too-out you go potatoes

My body is in my hands and I am its sculptor

Carving those curves, perfecting that pout

I feel good - I must be beautiful now!

A glance at the magazines- a broken heart

The images look thinner,

Eyes brighter, lips fuller

Skin flawless with that ever present glow

My shame burns me

Why can’t I be like them?

I sit at the table

Boiled vegetables on my plate

Stuff myself and then run to the toilet

A finger down my throat

Out comes it all

*Flush*

Some calories down the drain!

An evolving competition

Me and those calculating calories till death do us apart

Tiredness treads in now

But that’s a good sign!

I must be on my way

Hopes high I head to my ally

'Mirror Mirror on the wall- who's the thinnest of them all?'

no lies, hidden truths no more

Deep breath, eyes open and I see

A whale

A big ugly whale

Frustration. Anger.

If perfection eludes me,

I must step up my game.

Pit stop and I pick up some pills

Now  guaranteed a fine future ahead

I take them- 1,2,3 at a time

Day after day, week after week,

My body now starved, some pills popped,

I feel different. My body's not mine,

Instead a dying corpse

A sculptor’s worst nightmare

His masterpiece shattering in his hands.

In my race to perfection, I’d forgotten

That perfection, didn’t exist

Not in this world.

I wasn’t the lie, it was the image

Starved models make up caked,

Living lies,

Photo-shoots then photoshopped

Altered curves and concealed spots

Plastic smiles then painted on

Creating a fantasy; destroying million others

And mine.

So I take a step back and let my body speak for itself

It tells me to stop, this torture unbearable,

And look within

While my body starved, my soul did too

In the pursuit of perfection, I'd lost not one but two

The trails were testing and it took me some time

But I turned to the one who is perfect and he sorted it out

Cracks mended and tears stitched

I've prayed and the answer was lucid

To look beyond the body and go for the soul

This I shall polish and let shine for the world

The Creator created me this way and so it shall remain

I'm beautiful and so are you.

Words

Words, they have a mind of their own

Unsuspecting letters put together,

 Forced into meaning by men unknown

A simple sentence when next to one another

At times complex, yet compelling

Leaping out of pages

Screaming comprehension

Sometimes sly, lurking between the lines

Feigning innocence, craving attention

Words, often misused,

The real Weapons of Mass Destruction

Anger and rage all rolled into rockets,

Launched by the tongue or

spilt by the pen now even on news!

Men, women and Nation states,

Blinded by passion and compelled in rage,

Let them loose and in return
Broken families and hearts in flames 

No blood shed, only tears

Which soon pool into resentment.

Words, when served with consideration,

Can stop the tears and still the mind

When sincere make friends of foes and

with a pinch of tact restore fallen pride

When topped with love can

Mend fault lines with tremors no more,

Pick broken pieces and let peace prevail


And yet some wounds never heal
They fester, leaving a scar deeper than intended 

Some words can never be willed back
So careful when you crack that fleshy whip, because these
Words, once out, they can have a mind of their own.