#MuslimApologies

Every night before sleep

I swallow little pills of apologies,

Regular doses so I can doze,

See dreams well without  random security checks

Every morning I mourn

The day and its turns

As I stir in strong condemnation with my tea

As I brush my teeth with more apologies

As I cloak myself in the otherness bestowed to me

And step into a gaze that

Never leaves

Never cedes.

And they say:

Why don’t you just make up your mind-

Condemn or condone-

Get it right this time.

There is no way out so

Shout out your moderation from rooftops

Declare yourself civilized so we have no doubts

Scream that your religion is peace and

Continue to String prayers beads with apologies

For the crimes you did not commit

For the times you did not admit

Your absolute irrelevance in

This world we have made for ourselves

Apologize,

Or let us paint you in seven shades of hate

Stay quiet

As we pillage and plunder

Your bodies and boundaries.

Don’t question our privilege

For offence is our right and

Dissent was never your due.

Accept the labels we so kindly bequeath

And tweak your faith to our ease.

Till you fold into the corners we spare and

Contort your history to erase our errors

Cull terror cells in your wombs and

Raise new tombs and

Raze new tombs.

Here, let us save you

Now express freely,

In our terms .

Adorn your brown, black and blue bodies with our ideas

Abandon your tongue and Put away your words

Weave your oppression into the strands of your veil

Now twirl around so the world can see you

So free.

But Please

Don’t let your truths seep into our world and

Stain structures built for you  on your bones.

Don’t colour

What was just meant to be black and white

Rather gather

Your apologies

For you will need them again

And again.

Store them in purses and pockets,

Seek crevices of your being that matter.

Tuck them into the delicate folds of your blue scarf,

Slip them between yellowed pages of history book behind the broken jar or just

Spread thin on the empty plates of your hungry child.

Fill apologies in your pores and your prose and your poems

Till you can no longer breathe.