Tuesday, 21 February 2012

Facebook For Dummies

I have been on Facebook for almost 5 yrs now (was an Orkutter before that). During this time I've made a lot of silly mistakes, some which I regret even now. There are also some stuff I learnt by observing others ( not stalking, mind you). I also had a period of addiction and had to go into rehabilitation for facebookoholics about which you can read here. These trials have given me equipped me with some knowledge which makes life easier for me(Online and Offline)  So here are some commandment for the newbie and some reminders for the pros in there:

  • Thou shalt add only those people thou knoweth
  • Thou shalt use thy real name for thy profile not 'Tintin' or 'Tooth Fairy' or 'Edward Cullen'
  • Thou shalt not use ridiculous middle names like Nazreen 'Head-banger' Fazal or Charlie 'Anonymous' Chaplin or Raj 'Heartbreaker' Kapoor.
  • Thou shalt not poke people thou don't know
  • Thou shalt not poke back strangers that poke thee online
  • Thou shalt not poke people in real life
  • Thou shall not respond to messages which commence with 'Hai gorgeous! Want to make fraandship with me...'
  • Thou shall not diss thy parents online or this might happen-eth :  

  • Thou shalt not change thy relationship status every 5 seconds
  • Thou shalt not use the picture of Ms/Mr. Universe as thy profile pic. Thy friends aren't dumb. Or blind.
  • Thou shalt refrain from posting bathroom pictures
  • Thou shall refrain from pouting too much as thy picture might end up here
  • Thou shalt never initiate a chat with anyone unless thou knoweth what more to say than 'wassup?'
  • Thou shalt not create groups like 'Tuna stick lovers' or 'Frenz' and add all thy friends to it. Thy shalt be loathed if thou shalt do so. 
  • Thou shalt not say LOL in real life instead of actually laughing. 
  • Thou shalt be hung upside down and shot in thy head if thou dareth say 'O-M-G' in an actual conversation.
  • Thy problems are thine and not for the entire world to know. Keep-eth it that way. 
  • Thou shalt not bitch about anyone by indirectly referring to them in thy statuses. Everyone knows whom thou art talking about. Even that person.
  • Thou need not 'check-in' to thy class room every single day. We know it, no need to remind us every morning. 
  • Thou shall not 'like' every comment that a person makes just because thou have nothing better to say.
  • Thou might maketh a picture black and white but everybody knoweth that thou art just hiding thy pimples and spots. 
  • Thou shall be blocked if thou post statuses such as '...'  or '<3' or '</3'
  • Break up with thy loved one? Cry on thy pillow not my news feed. 
  • Enjoy thy time on Facebook. While it lasts. 

Note: These are just for fun and some of them are applicable to me too. So relax! :)

And feel free to add your own 'Facebook Commandments' in the comments section!

Commandments contributed by readers:

  • Thou shalt not tag thy friends in thy statuses and pics just so they see it (Malavika Varma)


  1. Replies
    1. n here's another commandment..
      "Though shalt not tag thy friends in every single post, so as to get them to notice thy updates"

      anubhavam guru ;)

    2. Haha...Awesome! I am gonna add that to the post( Will give you credit!)

  2. Why is this blog called Penguin Peeks?

  3. @Antarctic Wizard: Congrats on being the first person to ask that!
    Well, I wear the headscarf. And some of my friends used to call me penguin when I wore all black. So my blog, which is my views on everything under the sun, was named Penguin Peeks. :D