Monday, 14 July 2014

My Beloved...

My beloved,
To call you that, is an injustice in itself, for loving you is not an active choice where you are the passive recipient. Darling, my love is imperfect but in all its forms, it belongs to you.
I was whole and then you came along. I knew I loved you even before you were born. With the first cry I became yours. Loving you was then a compulsion- a biological impulse-where each atom in my being was attuned to you and every movement of yours. You said ‘mama’ and my heart soared, You fell and I cried, Your tiny fingers wrapped around my index finger to walk and I found direction. Each action of yours found its outcome in me.
In knowing you,I discovered the depths of love itself. Love then became a selfish act, for in loving you I found myself.
My beloved, You came from me, and as you left, you took a part of me. In losing you, I am undone.
The bullet went through your body and tore my soul. It’s as though my heart has stopped beating and what remains instead is perpetual pain. A heavy pain now resides inside and refuses to cease. Pain that cuts even when I breathe. Each day I drown deeper in waves of sorrow that crushes my bones and constrict my lungs. So tight I cannot breathe. So tight not even your name escapes my lips.
I sought you in my dreams, but even sleep refuses respite. In waking moments, I count the seconds down and cling to what remains of your scent. Darling, the day the echoes of your laughter fade away, I too will come your way.
Image courtesy: PressTv

1 comment:

  1. Your post has overwhelmed me with utter sadness. You have poignantly expressed the feeling of the mother holding her wounded or lifeless baby in her arms. When will this carnage end. All I can do is fall down on my knees and pray, that all this mayhem we see all around us day after day will come to an end someday.