Submission

I run

Away from the world

Unfinished battles now behind

Pain makes its way,
crushing me in measures

taking pleasure in my misery.

I cry, I scream
My anguish in vain

Salty droplets trickle down my cheeks

And when despair digs deeper

I hear a faint voice

from a strangely familiar place

The echoes find me

And tug at my heart

‘Allahu Akbar Allahu Akbar’

‘Allahu Akbar Allahu Akbar’

'God is great' says a resounding voice 

No, he is greater

Greater than my worries

of losing battles, and fleeting pleasures

Greater than those pursuits which never really mattered

The distant voice now comes from within-

‘Ash-hadu an la ilaha illa allah’

I testify there is no God but Allah

The chain snaps

and my heart is set free

Million little things placed on a pedestal,

And worshipped night and day

Now seep out and instead,

Resides a growing flicker of belief

In Al Ahad, The One

All knowing, creator of each atom

‘Ash-hadu anna Muħammadan-Rasulullah’

I testify that Muhammad is his prophet
A mercy to the mankind,

His life an example

His battles bigger, sorrows deeper

Trials endless, night and day

Testing him when his wife-Khadijah-was no more
Still mourning a lifetime of love now lost, 

news came that his uncle too was gone

His grief was immense but his submission was greater

He let the tears flow but with them to Allah he turned

The echoes now get stronger 

‘Hayya 'ala s-salah’

It invites me to submission

To take my heart to it's Protector
The Giver of Peace can rejoin those pieces! 

Hayya 'ala 'l-falah

And now a call to success

Success- which I yearned for

never rested in this dunya

It lay in a greater purpose

And here was a reminder
‘Allahu Akbar Allahu Akbar’

‘Allahu Akbar Allahu Akbar’

‘La ilaha illa allah’

The voice ceases but leaves a seed in my heart

A prayer escapes my lips,

‘Oh Allah, I need your help!’

Before a blink the seed sprouts
It's spring so soon!

Now firmly rooting itself in that vulnerable flesh 

Tiny tendrils of faith now burst out,

Wiping away years of neglect,
mending gashes that the dunya gifted

You see after the world I ran

A mirage, always out of reach

A tantalising illusion, toying with my fantasies

A perpetual game of hide and seek where I was the loser

What happiness I had, I lost it in its chase

But with this seed came new hope

A new leaf, a new life

A purer pursuit

Splash

Cool water on my hands and face,

Up till the elbows and above the ankles

Cleansing body and soul

I watch the drops as they fall off my face

With them go my sins

And my fears slink away

I stand now

United with my new family,

Transcending boundaries, ignoring colours 

A tie stronger than blood, bound by faith

One Lord, One direction

A straight path now illuminated

I raise my hands- Allahu Akbar

Now forehead on the ground,

Acknowledging his greatness

I’ve now submitted.

My journey has begun

And peace, is now here.